Big things should not be taken on late at night with little motivation. I wrote the last post because I felt a bit forced to get it done and I didn't really feel like writing it. I think it is disappointing and bland. I plan on improving it eventually.
So last night as I got through part of it I wanted to write a different blog. The problem is that this second though required that the first be in place to have any support. This is the second one:
I believe in truth. This time I'm not talking about personal truths or was that the world can be categorized or spewed about but the direct link of truth and lying, when you know you are lying. This one does not involve metaphysics or even a lot of thought to identify. Personally, I know when I am lying. I can feel it. It is just that simple.
Generally I lie for three reasons: it is fun, it can save time and it can protect feelings.
Lying can be a lot of fun when . . . Diplomacy.
I save time by lying in little situations. When someone asks me if I remember that one guy I might say yes. I might say yes because I sense a funny story coming on that really does not care if I know about guy A. It could be women M for all I care because those stories generally don't get less funny if you do not know their particular characteristics. Your friend will tell the story and you both laugh and you never talk about guy A through L for the rest of your lives. Does it matter if you lie there? If you tell the truth of your unknowledgeableness then you break the flow like that word breaks this sentence. So it is a lie, that is true, but you or I do it more for the sake of the story than to protect our own perfect memory complex.
Lying can protect people's feelings when they are emotionally unstable. If a friend come to you crying, you try to comfort them. You could tell them sweet things about themselves or try and make it better by hating what made them sad or saying that no one really knows how to tie their own shoes. You could tell them that the kids in school do not believe in Santa Claus because their parents are demons. You could say things can are not true but that would be lying. For myself, I do not like to lie about very serious or personal things and so when I believe that I am telling the truth and other people think that I am lying, it hurts. Or if someone asks me what I really think of them and I tell the truth, it can hurt.
The problem is that you are still lying. How I see it, people do not really want to lie but they feel that lying is the best way to go considering the alternatives. The question is, is possible to tell the truth and still have friends?
I believe that it is, but it is much harder to do. I really only lie for one reason: it is easier. If I lie to make a friend feel better, I do not have to go to the effort of actually going through my memory to find a positive example of how they are better than this, even though they failed right now. If I lie, I do not have to deal with the repercussions and try to show my friend that I still love them with acts of kindness. If I stop lying, maybe my friends will stop asking me if I know that guy and just jump straight to the story, saving us both time. If I stop lying in Diplomacy, maybe I will win more. Do I have the courage to try it out?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Truth is just one thing. truth is a lot of things.
I had a grade 12 English teacher that I really liked. Before that class, I didn't particularly like English. Maybe it was the first day when he told us that he was going to manipulate us all year, like it was his job. He is my favourite teacher. One of the things that came up a lot in his class was truth. He was say that there are two types of truth. The capital "T" which is an absolute and the lowercase "t" which is conditional and driven by perspective.
Okay so what does this mean. Well lets look at each of our lives. What is your absolute belief. I'm not asking if you have one here, but what it is because everyone believes something fully. Even if your Truth, is that all Truth is truth then so be it. It makes a confusing sentence but it looks in a lot of minds. I know it can work in mine. I do not want to get into all the Truths out there because I'm not ready to talk about Religion at 10:30 at night, even though I will not go to bed for five hours. What I will say is the way I see Truths. Truths require that all parts of them are true. True truth too. If that is not the case, then it is not Truth. If something contradicts the Truth then something is false. And not necessary the something you don't believe. That is what I believe Truth is. So what is yours?
The other truth is a little more difficult to nail. It is the truth of chocolate over vanilla or the truth of unequal information. This truth is the one you believe without really knowing everything about it. No, I'm still not talking about Religion. This is the my least favourite colour is pink moments before meeting mauve. But that is understandable, it is a personal favourite and people are allowed to change their opinions. What about facts. Most of what our parents were taught in school is wrong. What we knew about that person we met 3 months ago is wrong. What we thought was Truth in science three days ago is wrong. Look at quantim phsyics. Actually don't look at quantum physics, just look at your own life. How many things have you been wrong about that you knew you were right? How much of the world do you know? How much experience do you have? How much wisdom do you have? How much right do you have, calling the shots of what other people should believe?
The last one seems like it is a bit strong but it might be true. To the very least, what we believe to be true is the world of our children and generally those around us. If it isn't, well then you're a wuss and that is the truth. You need to believe something and believe it enough that it shows but I have a problem trusting human judgment, even my own. You need to believe something but you also need to have doubts about it. Otherwise, you are nothing more than it.
My simplified point is that truth is complicated. Now go and figure it our for yourself. And heed the words of George, "Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it".
Okay so what does this mean. Well lets look at each of our lives. What is your absolute belief. I'm not asking if you have one here, but what it is because everyone believes something fully. Even if your Truth, is that all Truth is truth then so be it. It makes a confusing sentence but it looks in a lot of minds. I know it can work in mine. I do not want to get into all the Truths out there because I'm not ready to talk about Religion at 10:30 at night, even though I will not go to bed for five hours. What I will say is the way I see Truths. Truths require that all parts of them are true. True truth too. If that is not the case, then it is not Truth. If something contradicts the Truth then something is false. And not necessary the something you don't believe. That is what I believe Truth is. So what is yours?
The other truth is a little more difficult to nail. It is the truth of chocolate over vanilla or the truth of unequal information. This truth is the one you believe without really knowing everything about it. No, I'm still not talking about Religion. This is the my least favourite colour is pink moments before meeting mauve. But that is understandable, it is a personal favourite and people are allowed to change their opinions. What about facts. Most of what our parents were taught in school is wrong. What we knew about that person we met 3 months ago is wrong. What we thought was Truth in science three days ago is wrong. Look at quantim phsyics. Actually don't look at quantum physics, just look at your own life. How many things have you been wrong about that you knew you were right? How much of the world do you know? How much experience do you have? How much wisdom do you have? How much right do you have, calling the shots of what other people should believe?
The last one seems like it is a bit strong but it might be true. To the very least, what we believe to be true is the world of our children and generally those around us. If it isn't, well then you're a wuss and that is the truth. You need to believe something and believe it enough that it shows but I have a problem trusting human judgment, even my own. You need to believe something but you also need to have doubts about it. Otherwise, you are nothing more than it.
My simplified point is that truth is complicated. Now go and figure it our for yourself. And heed the words of George, "Just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it".
Saturday, June 14, 2008
The Trip Home or My Third Near Death Experience
I told you I was going to write you a story, and I shall, but this is a story that some of you might have hear before. It is a true story - at least it is based on true people and even truer events. It is the story of Jeordie and my trip home from CMU.
The starting point was Winnipeg, MB. A breezy morning sent us on our way. We had said goodbye to friends and were ready to go. Shauna was snuggled in the back like an unloved hamster forgotten in the garbage and Jeordie was manning the electronics on his lap. I had a bad behind my head that acted as support and an anti-sleeping device (if would fall on my if I moved my neck). We had about 3 square meters left of breathing room and if we were doing the trip backwards it probably wouldn't have gotten us out of Ladner (What's that smell, LAD-NER LAD-NER). That was all thanks to Jaron for helping us pack Stormshadow properly, the right before. We left on the morning of April 17th at about 6 in the morning.
We did the trip caravan style following Jen because we were planning on staying at Lindsey's house for the night. The first day went well. We passed the time with sleep and Adventures in Odyssey, much to Jeordie's delight. At one point Shauna was driving and I was sleeping in the front seat when I got woken up by some skitter bugging (Not sure if that is an official term). We were in a town. I talked Shauna through the rest of the shifts and she did not stall once. Overall, she was very good for how little experience she had with a standard, especially my standard. We dropped Shauna off in Medicine Hat at about 2 and continued on our way. We made it to Lindsey's, which is about 3 hours outside Calgary, at about 8.
The second day was the fun one. The plan was to meet my father in Calgary so he could drive home with us. To meet him at 9:17. We left just before six (after having some maté of course) and started north towards Calgary. It had snowed the night before...that's important. But because it was so windy all the snow was being blown off the road and there were no signs of ice. We got to the outside of Calgary, connecting with the number one at about 8. We were about 50km away from the airport. Jeordie and I started to talk about what we should do to kill the time waiting for my Dad. I continued down the highway, laughing at all the silly prairie people who were going 60km/h in the right lane. I passed about 10 of them. That when the car shook for the first time.
I'm not that experienced of a driver but I'm pretty good at knowing what types of shakes are good and what type are bad. After the second one, I realized this was no strawberry with whipping cream and the extra metal tin on the side. The ones you pay $4.99 for. Ya, not one of those. I hoped it was the wind but the third time proved me wrong. I started to lose control of the car and told Jeordie to hold onto something. He was sleeping lightly when this happened. Realizing that the middle of the highway would be the worst place to be I steered for the bank of snow to our right. By the time we stopped we had done a 180 and were about 20 feet from the road. As Jeordie peeled his fingers from the arm rests and I quickly changed my underwear, I tried to remain calm. I checked the car for damage and after seeing none, decided we should just get back on the road and go. Where we left the road was a slight turn and because of our trajectory we were an an unusual angel to the road. To make things worse, there was quite a steep drop. I tried to turn the car back on but the snow was too deep and the wheels started to slip again. We had to go back through the tracks we made, which would be entering Canada's major highway facing oncoming traffic. Jeordie didn't need to push and soon we were at the cusp of our way home. Letting a few semis pass, I slammed on the gas and as my baby climbed from 0 to 20 in 14.3 seconds something terrible happened.
This time it was that sort of feeling you get when you turn on the blender at the same moment as you realize the object you hand is resting on is not an extension of the counter but the lid for that said blender. This wasn't nearly as yummy to clean up either.
Stormshadow started to spin again. I guess I assumed that the ice would have slinked away to ruin someone else's day. It did not. After about three full turns I stopped overcompensating and we came to a complete stop. Perpendicular to the highway mind you, but stopped. Luckily prairie people are kinder than I am and then slowed down to allow me time to maneuver. I pulled over to the side and decided that this was a good time to put on the four wheel drive. About 15 cars passed me.
In the end we did the rest of the trip to Calgary in low 4 cruising at 50km/h. We were still early for picking up my Dad.
The moral of this story is that you should know how to use your four wheel drive and remember it. You should follow prairie people, unless you are in the mountains, and if you tell my mother about my near death experience she will probably get a detached retina, so please do not.
The starting point was Winnipeg, MB. A breezy morning sent us on our way. We had said goodbye to friends and were ready to go. Shauna was snuggled in the back like an unloved hamster forgotten in the garbage and Jeordie was manning the electronics on his lap. I had a bad behind my head that acted as support and an anti-sleeping device (if would fall on my if I moved my neck). We had about 3 square meters left of breathing room and if we were doing the trip backwards it probably wouldn't have gotten us out of Ladner (What's that smell, LAD-NER LAD-NER). That was all thanks to Jaron for helping us pack Stormshadow properly, the right before. We left on the morning of April 17th at about 6 in the morning.
We did the trip caravan style following Jen because we were planning on staying at Lindsey's house for the night. The first day went well. We passed the time with sleep and Adventures in Odyssey, much to Jeordie's delight. At one point Shauna was driving and I was sleeping in the front seat when I got woken up by some skitter bugging (Not sure if that is an official term). We were in a town. I talked Shauna through the rest of the shifts and she did not stall once. Overall, she was very good for how little experience she had with a standard, especially my standard. We dropped Shauna off in Medicine Hat at about 2 and continued on our way. We made it to Lindsey's, which is about 3 hours outside Calgary, at about 8.
The second day was the fun one. The plan was to meet my father in Calgary so he could drive home with us. To meet him at 9:17. We left just before six (after having some maté of course) and started north towards Calgary. It had snowed the night before...that's important. But because it was so windy all the snow was being blown off the road and there were no signs of ice. We got to the outside of Calgary, connecting with the number one at about 8. We were about 50km away from the airport. Jeordie and I started to talk about what we should do to kill the time waiting for my Dad. I continued down the highway, laughing at all the silly prairie people who were going 60km/h in the right lane. I passed about 10 of them. That when the car shook for the first time.
I'm not that experienced of a driver but I'm pretty good at knowing what types of shakes are good and what type are bad. After the second one, I realized this was no strawberry with whipping cream and the extra metal tin on the side. The ones you pay $4.99 for. Ya, not one of those. I hoped it was the wind but the third time proved me wrong. I started to lose control of the car and told Jeordie to hold onto something. He was sleeping lightly when this happened. Realizing that the middle of the highway would be the worst place to be I steered for the bank of snow to our right. By the time we stopped we had done a 180 and were about 20 feet from the road. As Jeordie peeled his fingers from the arm rests and I quickly changed my underwear, I tried to remain calm. I checked the car for damage and after seeing none, decided we should just get back on the road and go. Where we left the road was a slight turn and because of our trajectory we were an an unusual angel to the road. To make things worse, there was quite a steep drop. I tried to turn the car back on but the snow was too deep and the wheels started to slip again. We had to go back through the tracks we made, which would be entering Canada's major highway facing oncoming traffic. Jeordie didn't need to push and soon we were at the cusp of our way home. Letting a few semis pass, I slammed on the gas and as my baby climbed from 0 to 20 in 14.3 seconds something terrible happened.
This time it was that sort of feeling you get when you turn on the blender at the same moment as you realize the object you hand is resting on is not an extension of the counter but the lid for that said blender. This wasn't nearly as yummy to clean up either.
Stormshadow started to spin again. I guess I assumed that the ice would have slinked away to ruin someone else's day. It did not. After about three full turns I stopped overcompensating and we came to a complete stop. Perpendicular to the highway mind you, but stopped. Luckily prairie people are kinder than I am and then slowed down to allow me time to maneuver. I pulled over to the side and decided that this was a good time to put on the four wheel drive. About 15 cars passed me.
In the end we did the rest of the trip to Calgary in low 4 cruising at 50km/h. We were still early for picking up my Dad.
The moral of this story is that you should know how to use your four wheel drive and remember it. You should follow prairie people, unless you are in the mountains, and if you tell my mother about my near death experience she will probably get a detached retina, so please do not.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Weaksauce
This blog has been significantly disappointing so far. The only post with real content has been inspired by a TV show that hasn't been showing new episodes for over a decade. Though I will always love Seinfled, it's time to (if I may borrow the words) "be a man, do the right thing". Well starting tomorrow that might just happen. Today is going to still be disappointing.
I have been working everyday this week so far and though I enjoy my job and it pays me well, it takes away from my free time. In the end my priorities are set but tomorrow i should not work. So tomorrow I will write you a story because a certain someone has been asking for one for a few days now. Later I was thinking of writing about truth, or at least how I see it. It should get better folks. For now, this is still weaksauce.
Interestingly, I believe that a small amount of my paycheck is for the sole purpose of confidentiality. I believe that I am paid some money to keep the secrets. What secrets, I am not quite sure. Maybe I am just a man, and maybe I just know too little. But if I already mentioned the job I might as well mention my favourite part: we get to wear walkie-talkies and most of the time have official number code names. So cool!
If I get fired I'm blaming all of you.
I have been working everyday this week so far and though I enjoy my job and it pays me well, it takes away from my free time. In the end my priorities are set but tomorrow i should not work. So tomorrow I will write you a story because a certain someone has been asking for one for a few days now. Later I was thinking of writing about truth, or at least how I see it. It should get better folks. For now, this is still weaksauce.
Interestingly, I believe that a small amount of my paycheck is for the sole purpose of confidentiality. I believe that I am paid some money to keep the secrets. What secrets, I am not quite sure. Maybe I am just a man, and maybe I just know too little. But if I already mentioned the job I might as well mention my favourite part: we get to wear walkie-talkies and most of the time have official number code names. So cool!
If I get fired I'm blaming all of you.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Seinfeld
One of the things that I believe is that if you are trying to understand what a person is saying, it is helpful to try to understand that person, at least in part. If you have no idea who I am and you just strolled here by accident, there are a few things you should know about me to help you digest anything you read here. One of those things is Seinfeld.
I started watching that show a while ago. I remember a few years back when I discovered that it aired for two episodes from three to four every day after school. So the ritual began. All throughout high school, if I did not have a sport or school commitment, I would watch my favourite show. My friends generally kept hang out time reserved for the weekend and since I have only done about 50 hours of homework for the last 18 years, little kept me from my daily ritual. I loved the show and I still do.
Looking back, I wanted Seinfeld's life to be my life (No wait, the other way around but it did not really matter what happened to him). I wanted to have friends walk into my apartment; we would have crazy conversations and then later pose as Nazi imposers. I wanted to have THAT table at the coffee shop and a crazy neighbour to boot. I really wanted to be the guy that people would come to with their problems and a few sarcastic jokes aside, everything would be solved in 22 minutes.
I kept watching that show and eventually the day came when I realized that it was also on at ten, again for two episodes. With two hours of a show about nothing, each day, I soon ran out of new episodes. But that did not stop me. I still watched it and today I can recall most of the plots with a few prompts. It is safe to say that it went beyond a little healthy obsession. Seinfled shaped my life.
That's no hyperbole either. If you look at the characters and myself, it can be a little scary. George, with his ridiculous theories, characteristic story-telling and an ability to talk his way out of anything; Elaine's furiously dominating personality when something goes wrong and a strong belief in the truth; Kramer's monologues filled with strange voices, even stranger gestures and unlikely situations; Jerry's sarcastic wit and the faint light of sense and reason he holds; all of these things are within my life. All these things, are in my personality. Even the systematic analysis of every social norm: from how long before you can dump someone who turns out to be a recovering drug addict to the social status of a make believe architect. An episode of Seinfled fairly accurately describes my life.
The question I leave you with is this. Is it because I intuitively or subconsciously knew, at a young age, that all these things were part of me that I love Seinfled or is it because I love Seinfled that these traits are now in my life?
Simply put, Seinfeld is a picture of my basic personality.
I started watching that show a while ago. I remember a few years back when I discovered that it aired for two episodes from three to four every day after school. So the ritual began. All throughout high school, if I did not have a sport or school commitment, I would watch my favourite show. My friends generally kept hang out time reserved for the weekend and since I have only done about 50 hours of homework for the last 18 years, little kept me from my daily ritual. I loved the show and I still do.
Looking back, I wanted Seinfeld's life to be my life (No wait, the other way around but it did not really matter what happened to him). I wanted to have friends walk into my apartment; we would have crazy conversations and then later pose as Nazi imposers. I wanted to have THAT table at the coffee shop and a crazy neighbour to boot. I really wanted to be the guy that people would come to with their problems and a few sarcastic jokes aside, everything would be solved in 22 minutes.
I kept watching that show and eventually the day came when I realized that it was also on at ten, again for two episodes. With two hours of a show about nothing, each day, I soon ran out of new episodes. But that did not stop me. I still watched it and today I can recall most of the plots with a few prompts. It is safe to say that it went beyond a little healthy obsession. Seinfled shaped my life.
That's no hyperbole either. If you look at the characters and myself, it can be a little scary. George, with his ridiculous theories, characteristic story-telling and an ability to talk his way out of anything; Elaine's furiously dominating personality when something goes wrong and a strong belief in the truth; Kramer's monologues filled with strange voices, even stranger gestures and unlikely situations; Jerry's sarcastic wit and the faint light of sense and reason he holds; all of these things are within my life. All these things, are in my personality. Even the systematic analysis of every social norm: from how long before you can dump someone who turns out to be a recovering drug addict to the social status of a make believe architect. An episode of Seinfled fairly accurately describes my life.
The question I leave you with is this. Is it because I intuitively or subconsciously knew, at a young age, that all these things were part of me that I love Seinfled or is it because I love Seinfled that these traits are now in my life?
Thursday, June 5, 2008
The First
Recently, I have not worked. This is my 8th day in a row off exactly, but that does not mean I have not been busy. I have been painting my games room for a few days with a certain employ from H Krueger and Associates and filling my other time with Scrubs and Paper Mario. Alas, the games room is now done and Paper Mario is only so fulfilling. Scrubs in now onto season 7 and that means I have to stream the episodes instead of just watching them off my computer. I need something else to do.
So, this is the deal. I have created a blog and I am going to write a post for every day that I do not work. Hopefully on that day. For those who do not know, I work at BC Ferries and more importantly I am on call. As of right now, I do not work tomorrow but have a night shift for Friday and Saturday evenings. That means one post tomorrow and probably another one on Sunday. Though technically I will still be working Sunday morning. But the deal is set and I will not stray from it for at least a week.
Expect future posts to be more interesting...
So, this is the deal. I have created a blog and I am going to write a post for every day that I do not work. Hopefully on that day. For those who do not know, I work at BC Ferries and more importantly I am on call. As of right now, I do not work tomorrow but have a night shift for Friday and Saturday evenings. That means one post tomorrow and probably another one on Sunday. Though technically I will still be working Sunday morning. But the deal is set and I will not stray from it for at least a week.
Expect future posts to be more interesting...
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