Blain/Blaine is a pretty crazy guy. Apparently the story goes something like this. Blain was Nathan's youth pastor. One day Nathan calls up Blain and says that something big is up and that he needs to talk. On the other end Blain says, "Can this wait a bit, I'm just doing my wife right now". I heard this from Patty so take it for what it's worth.
All and all, that's a pretty good picture of a few day impression of Blain. He says what he wants and is fairly rediculous but the guy loves God and there're multipul ways he proves it. He was the speaker for guys week and I'm disapointed that I didn't try to talk to him one on one.
Because Blain was the speaker for guys week most of the stuff he talked about is probably not fitting for me to reitterate verbatem in here. I'll tell you the PG stuff.
One cool piece of advice was that the most important thing that you can do as a newly married guy, is to make your wife your standard of beauty. Other than that we did the classic make a list of questions you want to ask the girls and they answered them and we answered theirs. Overal it wasn't helpful at all, at least not with understanding girls but it did leave me with a very large question. The questions is this:
Is it possible to have strong platonic intergender relationships?
I had never thought about it too much until this point but it was expressed, as if it were fact by the women leaders, that it is irrisponsible for a guy to try and go deeper with a girl unless he likes her, otherwise he is leader her on. I don't have the ability to go into depth here but my first reaction was actual anger which really surprised me because most things don't affect me that strongly. I have some strong opinions about the above question but before I get into them, what are yours?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Speaker 6 - Nathan
Nathan was my favourite speaker. He combined a good amount of personal stories with intellectual discussion and yet he was our most relevant speaker. Nathan talked about idols.
Now idols can be a lot of things but there are some basic guidelines. An idol is anything that we let judge us or set conditions for our self worth. It is a perceived center of value, pleasure or power. Anything that we use to give us power, anything we use to make a standard of value or anything we use to escape from pain, is an idol.
I'm just reading something I wrote in my journal. It's fairly personal so don't use it against me.
"My biggest problem is either the fact that I want to be a hero or that I don't have enough boldness. Can being a hero be an idol? What do I gain from it? Honor, praise, love. Is it just that they each have such a high tolerance level? I don't feel like I'm getting a diminishing return. Am I being set up for a fall? But I don't really care about those things, they are just what I gain. I want to be a hero because I feel it is right, because I would want someone to do the same for me. Is that God then?
What about boldness? I gain perceived safety from cowardice. The idol would be whispering something like 'why do it, you don't have to'. I guess the idol would be apathy.
I'm not sure about this whole exercise because I don't agree with too many of societies standards. I don't care if people think I am good looking or smart or athletic, at least not as much as I used to. The main thing I do deal with is identity. Maybe that's the only thing everyone deals with. We are all just trying to find who we are. To be known."
Nathan also gave me one of my favourite jokes during Outtatown. It would be told by an African and it goes like this. To know if you should marry a girl or not, tweak your girlfriends thighs when you leave for work and when you return and they're still jiggling, you've found a good wife.
Now idols can be a lot of things but there are some basic guidelines. An idol is anything that we let judge us or set conditions for our self worth. It is a perceived center of value, pleasure or power. Anything that we use to give us power, anything we use to make a standard of value or anything we use to escape from pain, is an idol.
I'm just reading something I wrote in my journal. It's fairly personal so don't use it against me.
"My biggest problem is either the fact that I want to be a hero or that I don't have enough boldness. Can being a hero be an idol? What do I gain from it? Honor, praise, love. Is it just that they each have such a high tolerance level? I don't feel like I'm getting a diminishing return. Am I being set up for a fall? But I don't really care about those things, they are just what I gain. I want to be a hero because I feel it is right, because I would want someone to do the same for me. Is that God then?
What about boldness? I gain perceived safety from cowardice. The idol would be whispering something like 'why do it, you don't have to'. I guess the idol would be apathy.
I'm not sure about this whole exercise because I don't agree with too many of societies standards. I don't care if people think I am good looking or smart or athletic, at least not as much as I used to. The main thing I do deal with is identity. Maybe that's the only thing everyone deals with. We are all just trying to find who we are. To be known."
Nathan also gave me one of my favourite jokes during Outtatown. It would be told by an African and it goes like this. To know if you should marry a girl or not, tweak your girlfriends thighs when you leave for work and when you return and they're still jiggling, you've found a good wife.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Speaker 5 - Tara
I don't have much on Tara. It's probably because I didn't like her very much or at least didn't really respect her as a speaker. She was living a pretty impressive life, but it depends on what impresses you.
The main thing that I gained from Tara was culture shock. Knowledge about culture shock that is. She gave us a very nice emotional time line and a quick run down of the five stages of culture shock. It was all quite informative but at the time I thought it was all well and good, for someone else. Now I've never really been in another culture (unless you want to get picky with the definition of that word and before you say it I know that every person carries their own culture) but I have proven to be quiet adaptable when the time comes and as long as they give me time, I'll eat most things. Change doesn't really bother me but then again I've never been in change that is all that threatening to me.
My point is that I didn't think it was useful but because it was such a nice visual, I wrote down the time line. I wish I could tell you that looking back on it now is causing me to have an epiphany that would make this post more exciting but I was right and wrong. I was wrong because I went through the stages of culture shock when I first starting outtatown. My expectations were unrealistic and it had been a while since I forced myself to make friends, I went in all wrong. I got shocked and it took until the canoe trip (4 or 5 days) for me to realize that. But then I adapted and things got better. I love it when I can be right too.
Another cool thing that we talked about was the difference between Passive and Active speech. The difference between "you broke a dish" and "a dish broke". Westerners usually use the active but many other people use the passive. I love stuff like this because it is crazy how much meaning is floating around 3 or 4 words and how easy it is to miss it. I really hope I can find some good examples of stuff like this in South Africa.
The main thing that I gained from Tara was culture shock. Knowledge about culture shock that is. She gave us a very nice emotional time line and a quick run down of the five stages of culture shock. It was all quite informative but at the time I thought it was all well and good, for someone else. Now I've never really been in another culture (unless you want to get picky with the definition of that word and before you say it I know that every person carries their own culture) but I have proven to be quiet adaptable when the time comes and as long as they give me time, I'll eat most things. Change doesn't really bother me but then again I've never been in change that is all that threatening to me.
My point is that I didn't think it was useful but because it was such a nice visual, I wrote down the time line. I wish I could tell you that looking back on it now is causing me to have an epiphany that would make this post more exciting but I was right and wrong. I was wrong because I went through the stages of culture shock when I first starting outtatown. My expectations were unrealistic and it had been a while since I forced myself to make friends, I went in all wrong. I got shocked and it took until the canoe trip (4 or 5 days) for me to realize that. But then I adapted and things got better. I love it when I can be right too.
Another cool thing that we talked about was the difference between Passive and Active speech. The difference between "you broke a dish" and "a dish broke". Westerners usually use the active but many other people use the passive. I love stuff like this because it is crazy how much meaning is floating around 3 or 4 words and how easy it is to miss it. I really hope I can find some good examples of stuff like this in South Africa.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Speaker 4 - Pierre Gilbert
Pierre, like Sugar Ray, is a CMU prof who visited us for one day. I'd like to say that he talked about two things, ultimate truth and then spiritual warfare, but I'm not sure what was spiritual warfare and what was a recipe for bacon. I'm going to stick to ultimate truth.
We talked about Postmodernism. About how one guy said that "I define postmodern as incredulity towards metanarratives". Which is pretty much a skepticism to all major ways of viewing the world. We got into the basic flaw of that system in that it tries to remove absolutes by stating an absolute and talked about how we really only use Postmodern thought in unimportant matters (For example, not in crime). We then hit on the hidden truths that A) No one is beyond the reach of God and B) we are free.
Now I liked Pierre because he was funny and we had a good chat after the session over some lunch but his session was pretty weak. I feel that our hidden truths were made by a Sunday school teacher and I'm not sure if I even agree with B. C S Lewis says that "I was not born to be free--I was born to adore and obey" and I agree more with him than Pierre.
In the chat that we had afterward, I was talking to Pierre about the truth of the Bible - specifically creation. He told me about this guy named John Bottero who is a world expert on Assyrians and their culture. Now this Bottero fellow apparently says that the Hebrew creation story is so advanced for it's time period relative to the neighbouring cultures that either Moses got it from Aliens or it might actually be true. I thought that was pretty cool so I wrote the name down and forgot about it until now. Well, I just spent 30 minutes researching Jean Bottero because John Bottero is an auctioneer and I've found nothing that supports Peirre's claim. I've found nothing to the affect that Bottero was even a Christian, maybe even the opposite as his book "Birth of God" seems to dictate at first glance.
I don't know if someone got the wrong information somewhere but I'm skeptical if this Bottero thing is actually what Peirre thinks it is. If you happen to know something about this or have better luck than I do researching it, let me know.
We talked about Postmodernism. About how one guy said that "I define postmodern as incredulity towards metanarratives". Which is pretty much a skepticism to all major ways of viewing the world. We got into the basic flaw of that system in that it tries to remove absolutes by stating an absolute and talked about how we really only use Postmodern thought in unimportant matters (For example, not in crime). We then hit on the hidden truths that A) No one is beyond the reach of God and B) we are free.
Now I liked Pierre because he was funny and we had a good chat after the session over some lunch but his session was pretty weak. I feel that our hidden truths were made by a Sunday school teacher and I'm not sure if I even agree with B. C S Lewis says that "I was not born to be free--I was born to adore and obey" and I agree more with him than Pierre.
In the chat that we had afterward, I was talking to Pierre about the truth of the Bible - specifically creation. He told me about this guy named John Bottero who is a world expert on Assyrians and their culture. Now this Bottero fellow apparently says that the Hebrew creation story is so advanced for it's time period relative to the neighbouring cultures that either Moses got it from Aliens or it might actually be true. I thought that was pretty cool so I wrote the name down and forgot about it until now. Well, I just spent 30 minutes researching Jean Bottero because John Bottero is an auctioneer and I've found nothing that supports Peirre's claim. I've found nothing to the affect that Bottero was even a Christian, maybe even the opposite as his book "Birth of God" seems to dictate at first glance.
I don't know if someone got the wrong information somewhere but I'm skeptical if this Bottero thing is actually what Peirre thinks it is. If you happen to know something about this or have better luck than I do researching it, let me know.
Speaker 3 - Sugar Ray
His name is not actually Sugar Ray. It's a nickname but one that I don't know the origins of. All I know is that Patty calls him Sugar Ray, that's good enough for me.
Ray spoke on poverty. Because I had taken the Introduction to International Development at CMU which should have been taught my Ray if he wasn't on his sabbatical, I knew the basic layout of his session. First, we defined what poor was. Second, we found an example of someone we knew who we thought was poor. Third, we got into wealth or capital.
For the third part, we wrote out five things that we considered valuable wealth. Later we put them into five categories. Natural, Human, Financial, Physical and Social. The five are as follows:
Natural capital: Environmental resources (e.g., land, water, biodiversity)
Human capital: Skills, knowledge, health, ability to labor and to pursue livelihood strategies
Financial capital: Savings, livestock, supplies of credit, remittances
Physical capital: Basic infrastructure (e.g., transport, energy, market access, communication, irrigation facilities)
Social capital: Membership of groups, networks, access to wider institutions of society
I had one social, one financial and three human. That doesn't surprise me because that's where my priorities are. We also talked about a wild card sixth category of Spiritual capital. All this brings up the questions of where you put your faith. As you can see, I put my faith mostly in myself and within a few of my equally financially blessed friends. If Ray had not brought up Spiritual capital it would have never crossed my mind.
Where is your faith placed?
Ray spoke on poverty. Because I had taken the Introduction to International Development at CMU which should have been taught my Ray if he wasn't on his sabbatical, I knew the basic layout of his session. First, we defined what poor was. Second, we found an example of someone we knew who we thought was poor. Third, we got into wealth or capital.
For the third part, we wrote out five things that we considered valuable wealth. Later we put them into five categories. Natural, Human, Financial, Physical and Social. The five are as follows:
Natural capital: Environmental resources (e.g., land, water, biodiversity)
Human capital: Skills, knowledge, health, ability to labor and to pursue livelihood strategies
Financial capital: Savings, livestock, supplies of credit, remittances
Physical capital: Basic infrastructure (e.g., transport, energy, market access, communication, irrigation facilities)
Social capital: Membership of groups, networks, access to wider institutions of society
I had one social, one financial and three human. That doesn't surprise me because that's where my priorities are. We also talked about a wild card sixth category of Spiritual capital. All this brings up the questions of where you put your faith. As you can see, I put my faith mostly in myself and within a few of my equally financially blessed friends. If Ray had not brought up Spiritual capital it would have never crossed my mind.
Where is your faith placed?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Speaker 2 - Craig
I should probably stop starting these ridiculously late at night. It's not a good situation. On the other hand,
Craig was our second speaker and he was a historian. I found it interesting that he was a Christian and a historian and so I played close attention to his sessions. He gave us some interesting stuff but I'm going to focus on his reasons why the Bible was true. I remember three major points.
He talked about positive and negative sources and showed us some of the writings by roman historians during the time of the Bible, which 'prove' parts of Christianity.
He explained that all of the authors of the Bible did not know that they were writing the Bible at the time.
He showed us that the Bible is not sanitized. The good is in with the bad which is very unusual for any mythological or religious book. He proved the Bible is honest.
My first question is whether honesty is enough to be truth. If something is honest, is it therefore true? My first thought is that it is not. If I wanted to, I could tell a number of embarrassing stories which aren't true and tell them like they are for the purpose of making people think I am honest. In a way you can say I am honest but really the only good thing about me is that I'm smart enough to use short term lost for long term gain.
(Side note. I had an interesting conversation with a number of people about the difference between honesty and truth. I think the best line was that honesty is something within and truth is something outside of oneself; honesty is the act of making yourself able to receive the gift of truth.)
A counterpoint to that last issue is the idea that why would the writers of the Bible want to make something honest but not true if they didn't even know they were writing anything that would become so famous. In essence they were just scribes who wanted to get the story recorded. Unfortunately I have to get a little cynical here and wonder about the people who put the Bible together. Now I know a little about this but exactly that, a little. Could it not be possible that those who composed the Bible choose from a multitude of writings, those which worked the best? Could some truth be lost in the first Cannon? I've never read 1st and 2nd Maccabees but maybe they've got some stuff that doesn't really agree with the rest. Well, I'm starting to get into areas that I don't want to go this early in the morning so I will stop but the questions do not.
Craig was our second speaker and he was a historian. I found it interesting that he was a Christian and a historian and so I played close attention to his sessions. He gave us some interesting stuff but I'm going to focus on his reasons why the Bible was true. I remember three major points.
He talked about positive and negative sources and showed us some of the writings by roman historians during the time of the Bible, which 'prove' parts of Christianity.
He explained that all of the authors of the Bible did not know that they were writing the Bible at the time.
He showed us that the Bible is not sanitized. The good is in with the bad which is very unusual for any mythological or religious book. He proved the Bible is honest.
My first question is whether honesty is enough to be truth. If something is honest, is it therefore true? My first thought is that it is not. If I wanted to, I could tell a number of embarrassing stories which aren't true and tell them like they are for the purpose of making people think I am honest. In a way you can say I am honest but really the only good thing about me is that I'm smart enough to use short term lost for long term gain.
(Side note. I had an interesting conversation with a number of people about the difference between honesty and truth. I think the best line was that honesty is something within and truth is something outside of oneself; honesty is the act of making yourself able to receive the gift of truth.)
A counterpoint to that last issue is the idea that why would the writers of the Bible want to make something honest but not true if they didn't even know they were writing anything that would become so famous. In essence they were just scribes who wanted to get the story recorded. Unfortunately I have to get a little cynical here and wonder about the people who put the Bible together. Now I know a little about this but exactly that, a little. Could it not be possible that those who composed the Bible choose from a multitude of writings, those which worked the best? Could some truth be lost in the first Cannon? I've never read 1st and 2nd Maccabees but maybe they've got some stuff that doesn't really agree with the rest. Well, I'm starting to get into areas that I don't want to go this early in the morning so I will stop but the questions do not.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Speaker 1 - Gerry
I have three pages of notes on Gerry. As you can probably guess, that is mostly due to the fact that he was the first speaker and not much else. Before I start it is interesting to note that on the first page at the bottom someone has written:
Joshua,
thank you
Josh, you have a very nice
note book.
Now my first guess was that Albanian boy I saved from a dragon finally found me because the printing is so messy and obviously came from a disfigered hand but it might also be that the writing chooses to be anonymous so I will pursue it no more...unless you have information on who I should be saying you're welcome to.
I digress, Gerry talked about communicating the gospel in terms of people's specific cultures. He gave us a three step system:
Know unchanging word, know changing world
Know the changing people and their changing world
Take unchanging word to the changing people living a changing world
Something that I have thought about to a fair extent is this whole question of being able to relate to people. One of the most amazing things about Jesus, if you think that he was just a human being, is how amazing he is at being exactly what a specific person needs at a specific time. To the lady at the well, he saw through her and brought truth into her life. For Peter, he had to call him the devil yet my guess is that it was the best good for Peter at the time. Peter seems like the type where you needed to just set them straight every once in a while. To Zacchaeus, Jesus was friendly and inviting and my guess is that if Jesus would have had a place, they would have eaten there instead.
Jesus' ability to be anything to anyone is quite spectacular to me. I'm not sure if this is what Gerry meant by his sessions but it is the thoughts that came up for me. How am I living my life to be more like Jesus in this way? How am I trying to understand and relate to those who think and live and feel differently than I do?
Finally, there are two quotes that came up during the sessions. I don't remember who either of the authors were.
God has called us to live a daring and impossible kind of life which necessitates faith in the kind of God who does the impossible.
Don't go to church, be the church.
Joshua,
thank you
Josh, you have a very nice
note book.
Now my first guess was that Albanian boy I saved from a dragon finally found me because the printing is so messy and obviously came from a disfigered hand but it might also be that the writing chooses to be anonymous so I will pursue it no more...unless you have information on who I should be saying you're welcome to.
I digress, Gerry talked about communicating the gospel in terms of people's specific cultures. He gave us a three step system:
Know unchanging word, know changing world
Know the changing people and their changing world
Take unchanging word to the changing people living a changing world
Something that I have thought about to a fair extent is this whole question of being able to relate to people. One of the most amazing things about Jesus, if you think that he was just a human being, is how amazing he is at being exactly what a specific person needs at a specific time. To the lady at the well, he saw through her and brought truth into her life. For Peter, he had to call him the devil yet my guess is that it was the best good for Peter at the time. Peter seems like the type where you needed to just set them straight every once in a while. To Zacchaeus, Jesus was friendly and inviting and my guess is that if Jesus would have had a place, they would have eaten there instead.
Jesus' ability to be anything to anyone is quite spectacular to me. I'm not sure if this is what Gerry meant by his sessions but it is the thoughts that came up for me. How am I living my life to be more like Jesus in this way? How am I trying to understand and relate to those who think and live and feel differently than I do?
Finally, there are two quotes that came up during the sessions. I don't remember who either of the authors were.
God has called us to live a daring and impossible kind of life which necessitates faith in the kind of God who does the impossible.
Don't go to church, be the church.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
One more before it gets serious
First, things are back to normal. I'm sitting in my very nice computer chair counting away the hours. I have Xena back and my life is feeling much more ordered. I've got the homepage optimized and the bookmarks back in place. Starcraft, Warcraft, Oblivion and even Blackshift are running well and once I find my Civ 4 disks and get Age of Mythology reinstalled it will be good times. I've got Band of Brothers streaming and I'll probably get to Dexter season 3 soon.
Second, the blog has changed a bit. I've changed a few things. I've decided to put fewer posts on one page because it was taking too long to scroll through. I've added the sites of a few people that I know of who have blogs. If you don't want your one up there tell me and I might remove it. One of interest is the Site 3-South Africa blog. It is the official blog of site three and as a member of the media committee, part of it is my responsibility. I forgot to tell people about it but it is a more reliable place to get updates for next semester because internet will probalby be rarer than first semester.
Third, there is a very obvious gab in my updates about first semester. In the spirit of debrief I will try to remedy that. Because I do not what to write everything over again, I am going to cover the first semester in terms of speakers. If you want stories or pictures or songs you will have to ask me in person. This should be starting tomorrow (or really later today).
Fourth, as I said in my last post I need to address something that I said at the end of Outtatown. Unfortunately, I'm going to sit on it for a bit and think it out. I promise to write about it when I am done with the speaker summary.
Fifth, eventually I will try to put something in here that is actually entertaining. Funny for the sake of funny if you will, so if you are just happening on this please stick with me.
Sixth, I'm going to set a goal of writing everyday for the next week. So, because of point two make sure you stay tuned because the posts are going to fly off the front page. This one will only count as Saturday even though it is Sunday. Mostly because blogger gives me the power over time, plus two posts in one day makes me seem too eager. Yep, things are back to normal.
Second, the blog has changed a bit. I've changed a few things. I've decided to put fewer posts on one page because it was taking too long to scroll through. I've added the sites of a few people that I know of who have blogs. If you don't want your one up there tell me and I might remove it. One of interest is the Site 3-South Africa blog. It is the official blog of site three and as a member of the media committee, part of it is my responsibility. I forgot to tell people about it but it is a more reliable place to get updates for next semester because internet will probalby be rarer than first semester.
Third, there is a very obvious gab in my updates about first semester. In the spirit of debrief I will try to remedy that. Because I do not what to write everything over again, I am going to cover the first semester in terms of speakers. If you want stories or pictures or songs you will have to ask me in person. This should be starting tomorrow (or really later today).
Fourth, as I said in my last post I need to address something that I said at the end of Outtatown. Unfortunately, I'm going to sit on it for a bit and think it out. I promise to write about it when I am done with the speaker summary.
Fifth, eventually I will try to put something in here that is actually entertaining. Funny for the sake of funny if you will, so if you are just happening on this please stick with me.
Sixth, I'm going to set a goal of writing everyday for the next week. So, because of point two make sure you stay tuned because the posts are going to fly off the front page. This one will only count as Saturday even though it is Sunday. Mostly because blogger gives me the power over time, plus two posts in one day makes me seem too eager. Yep, things are back to normal.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Another boring update blog
You might not have noticed it but I'm home now. I've been home since the 3rd. Don't worry, I haven't been hanging out with other people or even dominating virtual worlds, I've been mostly sleeping, reading and now working.
The first night I was actually home I slept for 12 hours. When I was tired again at 9pm I went to bed at 10 and slept another 11. It was a good first two days. Next I would have gotten my video game on but Xena is still being held captive by my sister. So, I am reduced to reading and sleeping. I probably will hang out with people soon but right now I'm not sure when your exams are and I'm actually really loving a little me time after being with 37 people for the last 3 months.
Two more things.
Over the weekend I went on a mini road trip with my Dad which was really good. We went and visited some family friends up in Summerland. He is a pastor and I got a chance to ask him some questoins about pastoring and ministry. There was one part that I really remember from the conversation. We were talking about the difference between speaking and teaching and he said something I think is quite profound. He said something along the lines of that really good teachers are transpairent and honest because when it comes down to it there is going to be someone smarter or more knowledgeable just a click away on the internet. What makes openness so valuable is because it is something that cannot be transfered from one machine to another. It is the basis for good pastoring. I'll probably try and unpack this in the future.
To Outtatown people: basically the last thing I said to you was that I'm probably not going to miss you over Christmas break. To say that and then to not respond to anyone for a few days is probably not a good idea. Now this isn't a change of heart but I would like to try and explain myself better, just not tonight. Tomorrow I work again for my father at 9am and I wouldn't want to break crewfew.
The first night I was actually home I slept for 12 hours. When I was tired again at 9pm I went to bed at 10 and slept another 11. It was a good first two days. Next I would have gotten my video game on but Xena is still being held captive by my sister. So, I am reduced to reading and sleeping. I probably will hang out with people soon but right now I'm not sure when your exams are and I'm actually really loving a little me time after being with 37 people for the last 3 months.
Two more things.
Over the weekend I went on a mini road trip with my Dad which was really good. We went and visited some family friends up in Summerland. He is a pastor and I got a chance to ask him some questoins about pastoring and ministry. There was one part that I really remember from the conversation. We were talking about the difference between speaking and teaching and he said something I think is quite profound. He said something along the lines of that really good teachers are transpairent and honest because when it comes down to it there is going to be someone smarter or more knowledgeable just a click away on the internet. What makes openness so valuable is because it is something that cannot be transfered from one machine to another. It is the basis for good pastoring. I'll probably try and unpack this in the future.
To Outtatown people: basically the last thing I said to you was that I'm probably not going to miss you over Christmas break. To say that and then to not respond to anyone for a few days is probably not a good idea. Now this isn't a change of heart but I would like to try and explain myself better, just not tonight. Tomorrow I work again for my father at 9am and I wouldn't want to break crewfew.
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