A Theory about Caring verses Confidence

The theory goes like this.

I think that people will agree with me when I say that there are some who just seem to have a natural level of confidence. There are also people who, in general, just seem to care more about people. My first question is if you know many people who are both; people who care deeply and yet have an ability to not care what people think?

I say that because I think that's a huge part of what confidence is. To be able to distance yourself from what people think. To me, confidence is the ability to be sure about something, be there real or perceived proof or not, to the extent that it makes it more true. This is most often demonstrated in self confidence and exhibited in all forms of life. Tiger Woods is so good at golf because he knows that he is the best, therefore making himself even more likely to actually be the best. He probably got there through many years of different steps but now when he hears someone say that he isn't the best he probably just laughs at them and never thinks twice about it. This might seem obvious but I'm guessing that as I do, you also know some people who can't hear a comment like that and not wonder if their self view is wrong. No level of practice or ability will give them the gift of true confidence.

On the other side, caring is being able to bring yourself as close as possible to what other people think. To be able to plan the perfect surprise party you need to know not only that your friend likes chocolate better but that they have been talking about that new restaurant for a while now. If you care about your friends then you must value what they think so that you can help them. The better you internalize their thoughts the better you are able to help them. Now it is less likely that you know people that have trouble caring but I'm guessing that's because most of you don't have friends who have excelled in areas where huge confidence is needed. It may be that the big shots just don't have time but did they have the time before they made it.

Now it's important that I clarify that I'm talking across the board. Everyone will care about some people and everyone will have some confidence but they just might not be very good at it. The place I see this theory the most is in the difference between males and females. Guys, generally speaking, tend to be more confident and less caring. Girls, generally speaking, tend to be more caring and less confident. I think I can summarize it quite simply: one group tends to dwell more on what people think. It is a curse and a blessing to both. They are who they are.

So is it impossible to have both? Have you thought of anyone yet who can show both types? What about someone who excels in both confidence and caring? What would it take? A naturally caring person would have to learn the precise time of when to 'turn off' their ability, slowly teaching themselves this new skill of being independent of other people's praise and scorn while retaining their compassion. A naturally confident person would need to learn how to give something to people that they don't really need themselves, becoming involved with people for no other reason. I can't imagine that either are easy and that's why I think it's such an unlikely combination.

Are you willing to prove me wrong?